Monday, April 26, 2010

1, 2 and 3

I wrote this about 3 years ago ... I remember writing it and sharing it, but never blogged it. My mom found it in an email, so blogging it now, that way I won't ever lose it again!

My 3 kids......

Jakob, my oldest. My child that I can't wait to see what is next. What is that next step. I couldn't wait for him to roll over, then sit up, crawl (he never did, I'm still waiting for this), talk, walk, eat with a spoon, kick a ball, say I love you, go to pre-school etc.................and here, 8 years later I am still anxious to see what is next. I can't wait for that first home run, that first goal, that first kiss on the playground. I am constantly thinking, what is next, when will this happen?! I wrote all his firsts down, I remember a lot, but so much has happened, I've had to write them down....when will the time come to pass this on to his kids? I'm waiting for that daughter-in-law.

Kristopher, my BooBoo. This is my child I want to freeze. The first 2 years he was mine, I did it all for him. I wanted another child, and DH reminded me this, by me doing the majority of the work for the first 2 years. It really is a blurr. With BooBoo my memory starts (of him) at age 2. I was too busy to remember to remember know, you say to yourself, hey I got to remember this, well, I forgot to. My little boy. This is the one I wanted to stay age 2, binky and all... But then age 3 came, and the binky went bye-bye and the diaper went bye-bye and, well, his talking started. What a funny, little, lovable, shy boy. At age 4 shy little Kristopher wasn't so shy anymore...the funny things he would say, I wish I would have written them down...and he actually loved pre-school, age 3 he cried everyday he went! Last year, 2006, in November, he turned 5. That was it, that was all I could take, so I froze him. My BooBoo is frozen in my memory at age 5, not age 5 and 1 day, just age 5. I want him to stay that age, I don't want to know what is next. I want to know what was first.

Juliana - MY GIRL! She'll be 2 in less than a month and I remember just about every milestone she has accomplished! I learned with Jakob, not to rush it and learned with Kristopher, not to forget it. I have taken so many pictures of Juliana I would have a whole room of albums if they were all printed. Regret? Yes. Remorse? Yes. Forgetting? No. I don't want her to grow up, but I don't want her to slow down. I'm not rushing her or freezing her. I'm remembering.

Each of them have taught me something...If I only knew then, what I know now.